Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Day 1 - my first real blog

Here it goes. A bit about me.

I am in my mid twenties, married for just over two years and living in my husband's neck of the woods. I come from a loving (split) family and have three younger brothers. I am very close with my family and would do anything for them. Some members of the family are a bit crazy, but doesn't everyone have family members like that?

At this point in my life I've done the major things I wanted to by now: graduated college, got a "good" job, got married, bought a house and continue to vacation.

What next?

I guess this is where I realized I am a "grown up". I am old enough to have my own children (but don't). I own a house. I have a husband. This just doesn't seem right. I don't feel old enough. When did it all change? I don't remember to be honest. I still don't really feel like an adult.

I've always done the right thing, made the right choice and think I forced myself to grow up way too early that there wasn't the normal progression that most people experience.

So, what is next?

I wonder if part of what I am experiencing is due to not being close to home, around family where I grew up. I wonder if it is because this is just a strange point in ones life. I wonder if it is just because I fear change.

It is obvious what the traditional next step is. But I am not ready. So do I just be? Exist in the world and experience what I can while I can in the way I choose to? I guess so.

I will continue to question everything. I will continue to over-analyze everything. I will continue to wonder.

What is next?


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