Little down today...

I heard on the radio a couple days ago about the MS Challenge Walk. Now normally that wouldn't mean anything to me, but my dad being diagnosed with MS this past September changed everything. My dad has MS. That is not something I ever thought I would say. My dad doesn't deserve this. It isn't fair.

I haven't really come to terms with this news yet. I've been able to somehow push it deep down and avoid the reality of it on most days. I had planned to educate myself on it upon return from our October vacation, yet haven't. I am scared to know more.

Hearing this commercial for the MS Challenge Walk made me feel for a second like I could somehow do something to show my dad that I would do anything I could to change his situation. If it means walk 50 miles to raise funds to find a cure, then so be it. If I could change his situation I would do anything. This seems to be a start. Something to take control of, do and feel good about.

It will put me in a community I would honestly rather not be part of, the family, friends and supporters of a disease that will continue to affect my dad... constant reminder that my dad is not healthy... I would rather not know about MS, not need to care and continue with my illusions that these things don't happen to my family.

So info is coming in the mail. I plan to raise at least $1,500 and find a support network of friends and family that will walk with me. Times like this, when things aren't easy or fun, is when you find out who true friends are.

I am in no shape to walk 50 miles... but I will do what it takes to get to that point by September... such a small part for me to do.

It just isn't fair.